Monday, July 20, 2009

Confrontation and pimple problems are driving me mad!

Go ahead just leave,
Can't hold you,
You're free
Here, take all these things,
If they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams
'Cause you meant the world
So did I deserve
To be left here hurt?

I'll give it all up, but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, I'm takin' back my love
I've given you too much, but I'm takin' back my love
I'm takin' back my love, my love, my love, my love

So all this love I gave you, take it away
You think material's the reason I came
If I had nothing would you want me to say
You keep your money, take it all away

-Takin' back my love, Enrique Iglesias feat Ciara


I love this song, the beat is so catchy and listening to it, you can't help but tap your feet to the music and move your body. I know I can't. Since my break up in February and me resigning from my job in July, music has been my late night companion when everyone else is asleep. It keeps me from thinking too much and keeps me feeling a little more upbeat when the world seems to drag me down. And the lyrics are so true, to some money is the reason of starting a relationship with someone, it has never been mine. All I want is to be loved and never taken for granted. If you think money and other materialistic can make me put up with infidelity, stupidity and lack of love, I'll be singing the songs to them very soon.

I'm thankful for my friends companionship just as well, I wonder how I would have been able to make it through on my own and I'm glad I didn't have to with Elisa, Elyn, Kern, JeanJean and everyone else in my blog list. I like reading blogs and see what everyone else is doing and buying :D

The problem with Uncle P. is still unresolved, as well as with the wig seller, she was upset when she saw that I made a post about her and threw a fit. So I promised her that when everything else is resolved, I would remove my post as well as the post I made in her thread. But so far, although negotiations were on the way, we're at a standstill with her only willing to return me RM11 that she said were the profits from the sales.

Talking about confrontation, I recently recieved news on a rumor about me. Something that shocked me quite a bit. I'm not going to go into details about this but I must admit that I'm a little depressed about it, if this gets out, my reputation might be on the line. A reputation I spent 25 years guarding.

Penang is a really small island where news can really get around. And exactly because of that reason, I gave no one any chances to even bitch about me and relationships with guys. Then again, it's also because I go by a very strict principle when it comes to relationship with guys. There are a few unspoken rules between me and E as well as myself. Call this self imposing but I can do without all the dramas.

First things are,
I would never never never date my best friend exes or my best friend's current boy friend
I would never flirt with married men
I would never kiss or sleep with anyone who's not my boyfriend
No one night stands, no flings
A break up is a break up thus I don't sleep with my exes.

These are few rules that does not have exeptions. This is my principles in life. Call me rigid, call me party pooper, call me a saint wannabe, call me whatever but at the very least, you can't call me a slut. :D

Perhaps it's because of these rules that the rumors really hurts furthermore it came from someone close who's also not the type to lie. So what now? I need to clarify and settle this one soon, very soon before I break out anymore pimples. Another confrontation to handle but I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding or a case of mistaken identity :)

I'm so confused. I hate confrontations and these problem really broke me out in pimples, nightmares and insomia. I'm just so exhausted. I really am. I just wanna go sleep and wake up without any of these petty problems weighting me down like this. Yes, I said petty, but I'm the type that would like to clear everything off so I can sleep with a peace of mind at night.

And thus,


The one I bought myself, ingredients listed behind

With the money I got from Pinky Doodle doo on my birthday, I used it to buy... pimple cream. Yes I did. I finally got the big bottle of the Dermedex Refining Cream after buying, trying and loving the samples that I've been buying for a year or so. I forked out a little more since this cost me RM138 and I actually felt guilty spending my sister's money. I wanted to save it up for rainy days but after all the problems and never ending pimples, I had to get it before I lose my mind and face to these pesky drama queens.


The box and the ingredients used

The clubhouse guys wasn't sure what to get me so they sent my sister on a mission and finally after so long, Pinky caved in and asked. There wasn't anything on my mind but after a week, I decided that perhaps I would like the Dermedex Whitening Hydro Cleanser. And so, 3 days later, it magically appeared before me. LOL! I'm so thankful to everyone. I really am. Thank you.


How the bottle looks like, RM118

I weigh myself at the gym a couple of days ago and it's so funny how I used to be 47.5kg with a 23 inch waist just a month ago and right now, I weigh 52kg and I hop around maniacally just to zip my jeans.

Wake me up when July ends....

P.s: Elyn, how's everything? Are you getting better?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Ash :)

am an avid reader of your blog (a silent one - no more as of now)! I suffer from break-outs too and it's depressing just to know how much I spent on getting rid of them and not work! Perhaps you can try Bubzbeauty(youtube)'s method..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e--d_n073pc

Well, it worked on me.. helped me got rid of those clogged pores!

C'est LazziMic said...

Hi Ashely,

I certainly hope your problem and acne would go away as soon as possible. However, I would suggest you to go visit a dermatologist if you were really bothers by acne problem. I strongly recommended Lim Skin Specialist in Penang. The cream and medicine is super effective! and I don't see any side effects on me so far :p(I've been their patients since 2006 but I don't visit him anymore since my skin is pretty OK now!). Let me know if you need more details, I'll be very much happy to tell you my experience. Be happy always!

-Michelle

Jeanjean said...

* sigh and pat your back*

I hope life will go more smoothly for you. I feel sad when you have so many things troubling you. Through your writing, I can really feel your emotion and pain, I just hope I can do something to ease it.

Girl, don't worry so much. Let the bitches talk until their mouths rot. We can't control what bitches bitch about. I do hope you'll get all the justice you can get. It's unfair for you to live under rumour.

_______________________________


Wow, you got Dermedex stuff! I am hoping that you'll write a review about the cleanser because I've been debating on Whitening Hydro Cleanser or Biotox Cleanser. Do tell us how it goes on you.

Meanwhile, try to be happier, girl.

* lots of hugs for you*

TJ said...

I love Music! Truly love it, I listen to a variety of genres 24/7. It truly can help you cope with all sorts of things. And sometimes a specific song or music can help you you understand things better or it is easier to give a place in your mind...ehm does that sound stupid? Ah well, works for me :D. Always know that in the end things will get better! Positive thinking *cheers*

I totally agree with your unspoken rules! I would never deliberately try to hurt others by going with their exes, kiss, sleep or flirt for that matter. And I think its very good you have these. Stand by them sister and don't anyone else tell you are party pooper!

About pimples *curses silently*. I do have a problem skin myself and for each time I'm happy with a clear face there is a depressed screaming moment when I see bumps or upcoming pimples *sighs*...its really frustrating! But for now the acne bar seems to work just fine...lets see how long that last!

Oh I HATE it when people start gossiping and spreading rumors (I almost wanted to say that in French haha 'Je deteste!'). No seriously, I really hate it, spreading rumors is very stupid, waste of time and you are only hurting others. It cost me a good friendship when I was younger :(. But sometimes it seems like people feed on the hurt of others...

oeh! I saw something interesting on your blog...your 2009 resolutions...*is looking at them right now*...yes yes is there a possibility...a maybe...a slight chance...that you will pack your bags and jump in a plane to fly to Holland ^_^? Is there? Is there? Please let me know when you do :D! Xx

TJ said...

Oh wait! I see something interesting again!! Are you a writer...I see *reads out loud* 'Write 10 chapters of Deja Vu'....aah you write don't you? *does a happy dance*!! I write as well, currently have 3 projects running...if you need feedback or someone to preread something (you probably already have a lot who would do that for you ^_^)...just let me know! I would be happy too!

viv said...

just lead the life u want. don't fret over what others think about u. do their opinions matter at all? life is never a smooth journey, so take the ups and downs as they come along. remember, make yourself happy first. u can never stop others from criticising u. hey, maybe you're someone to reckon with, otherwise the others won't be so bothered about u, right?

Makeupholics said...

Slut ??? What the.... go to the person who said it and make him/her pay for their potty mouth and don't forget to bring along a big bottle of LISTERINE !!

I have been keeping well, just that given the stronger dosage of the prescription drugs I spend most of my days estacy-ing...muahahahahaha the good new is I finally got to shut-up and manage to sleep soundly at night. The bad new is, everything taste foul and I got thrush in my mouth from using the inhaler. oh well, I guess you can gain it all or loose it all ahahahahahaha....otherwise I am still alive and kicking.

But not to worry, I am a BIG girl now, and all I want to do is, put on my dancing shoes, shake some boobies (.)(.) and ….

Just dance, gonna be okay, dad a doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, dad a doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance

Woo ! Let’s go dancing babe…..hahahahaha


P.S. .are you going for the MAC workshop this coming Sat?? If yes me see yer there aite
Take care pretty XXOO…

Shenay Lee said...

Hey dearest ! Dont worry too much or else you'll open chances for pimples to come & attack ! Hrmph I'm sure its a misunderstanding cause I believe you're not that kind of person. If it isnt a misunderstanding, then he/she is just not worth your time at all ! Dont fret over what other people say. Afterall there's like billion of people in this world, we cant please everyone ! So just screw them & be happy =P

Oh ya, being single is good too ! Screw guys, we're too good for them =) And and thanks for linking me up but u spelled my name wrongly xD Take care !

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