Thursday, October 22, 2009

The dreams that came and went..

Today started bad. Woke up all grouchy and was rude to some poor person who so happen to call me and woke me up. My deepest, sincerest apology to the above said person. The afternoon was fine. Receive some heart thumping news and before I could roll over and die with foam coming out of my mouth, E called. Later, as Kern dropped me home, I saw two friendly neighborhood dogs barking at something just outside our fence.


Urk!

Feeling nosy I went over, only to see one scrawny cream colour kitten with blue eyes (Jiun says all kitten has blue eyes; I didn't know that =_=;;) curled up in the corner looking all fragile and scared. The dogs refused to leave the poor thing alone and I didn't want to hit them because these two dogs are very friendly dogs and has been around the neighborhood for quite some time. I had to spray the dogs with a hose to get them away and then carried the poor kitten into the house.

Rushed in and saw that the only person I knew that owned a cat was luckily online. Yay! Bombarded the poor person with questions and went off to feed the kitty. Poor thing. I keep hoping that the mom would come collect it. *sigh* Now it's in some corner of my house hiding.

Went out to meet Kern and friends later in the night and I was really happy when a friend of mine joined us. We ended up driving around just talking. The talks reminded me of an entry I did some time ago but never posted. Decided that perhaps, I should so...

17/9
Growing up, I'm sure everyone aspired to be something or someone. Something as in a doctor, a vet or one thing or another.

Back when I was in high school, I couldn't wait for me to finish my studies and start my life. I must admit that I never enjoyed school, some say it's the happiest time of our life but for me, getting my cert and walking out from the school could chalk as my happiest. I never looked back nor have I set foot in that place after that day.

My grandmother used to own a seafood restaurant just in front of the beach and it was extremely successful, I grew up surrounded by the beach, endless seas, seafood and coffee. My grandmother, my mom and I are all coffee addicts. I guess it's no surprise that I too wanted to own a little cafe of my own one day, nothing fancy, nothing to do with smelly crabs or prawns (I actually love the smell, reminds me of my grandma, lol) but a quaint English cafe serving delicious cakes, cookies and tea or coffee served in fancy porcelain.

I've worked in a bank, a printing press, a radio station and despite it all, my one true love remains in the F&B line. I've enjoyed my time immensely working in Starbucks (but I had one shitty ass control freak manager) and growing up, being a make up artist has never even crossed my mind till recently. I've been lost, confused and unsure of my own talent and where my strength lies and this stresses me up. Like most people suspects, 3 months of not working is indeed draining my savings. If I were to make a decision, I need to make it quick but I'm not ready yet. So what now?

Perhaps some of you are already on your way to achieving your dream or have already achieved it while here I am, still sitting on my big ass wondering if my day will ever come.

4 comments:

Jeanjean said...

You know, when I read about your dream, it moved my heart. It's so sentimental , carefully arranged in words and into beautiful sentences. Although I have mentioned many times that you should really try journalism, I really hope that you'll venture in this field.

I like reading such post. It touches people. =) And you happen to have the talent to produce them effortlessly.

Sue said...

Why not taking up a part time job as a MUA? XD Then maybe you may realized they are for you? :) Don't let anything stop yourself k. Good luck!!!

viv said...

i hv a wild proposal. marry yr two loves: hv a little cafe that also offers makeup. after all, there are cafes which sell clothes/accessories. why not cosmetics?

TJ Lubrano said...

I really admire you for posting something so personal and honest. It's a lovely post. I kinda know what you feel and what you’re going through. And I know that these feelings can make you feel so depressed and...well you just what to curl up in a corner and hope everything will pass and that it will get better just like that.

I have days that I feel so positive and confident and then it switches for no reason and I feel grumpy and annoyed and I can't pinpoint out why I feel this way.

It's just that you have to pass that line of doing these that others aspect of you. And doing what you want to do, but I know it is more difficult than it seems. But sometimes I think, that maybe I tend to make things more difficult…

Soo I just want to tell you that you have many many lovely talents and passions! Like your love for makeup, writing, working in a food bizz (which I totally love!!). Explore your options and look what you can do to get a job in that field. Your idea of opening an English cafĂ© is soo cool and it really sounds amazing! And I’m sure it will be successful! You have the whole package to start something like that. I believe in you!

Dare to dream, dare to follow your heart, dare to live. It may be not that easy and sometimes you can feel like 'what the hell am I doing?!!', but the reward you get from doing what you love is huge! And it makes it all worthwhile in the end. Don't doubt yourself and if you do, put it into working harder and getting better in what you love to do.

I try to do that as well and I do hope that in a few years that I can say… “wow those difficult years look so small now!”. And have to say, change really does start at yourself and it’s a switch in how you think about your life and what you want to do. Staying happy and positive is a huge part of it!

And last but not least…..know that you have friends you can turn to, including me ^_^!! Love ya Bella!!

(Hmm it became a bit wordy huh?! hahahaha XOXO!)

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