Sunday, September 6, 2009

Caned me not in vain

Was having dinner with Sulin and Neko when the topic about getting caned as a child came up. It may be a weird topic for a lot of people out there especially in non-asian countries or pro-western families that the idea of getting 'whacked' with a rattan stick seems odd.

The rattan has always been a good punishment tool to disipline children over here. It's about 3 feet in length, extremely flexible, makes a 'whoosh' sound when you hit the air with it and hurts like bloody hell.

Kids nowadays are bloody lucky, having never to getting subjected to this kind of punishment. Back then, about 20 years ago, I would always get caned for being mischevious, misbehaving and fighting with my older sister, Pinky Doodle Doo. The thought of our parents getting the rattan will send us scrambling for safety or instant tears.

To think about it, I got whacked quite a bit. The red welts left behind on our skin after each session would last for a day or so and it really really hurts. We would run round and round the dining table or ran around the house, garden and all just to well.. run from it.

Boys school got the brute of it mostly as this was a normal form of punishment for them. During assembly every Mondays, names would be announced and the poor boys would get it on their asses. We girls are exempted from this but of course now adays, schools are no longer permitted to use this form of punishment. Thanks to some over zealous teachers who 'over' use this and ended up injuring some students.


Sofa picture from here

If you ask me if this is inhuman and abusive and very wrong, I fear I might have to disagree. It's only all that when the teachers or parents abuse that power and end up injuring the child. Trust me there are times when I, myself feels like using the rattan stick to give some bratty, ill-mannered child a good whacking. The way they scream and shout at their parents in public makes my bloody boil.

But as parents we should understand and know that not all kids ought to be caned. I just simply can't imagine Elyn of Serendipity caning her daughter, Alexandra in this manner especially since Elyn's method of raising a child is pretty pro-western and not to mention Alexandra is matured beyond her years and gives Elyn no or little problems.

Ahh, what a weird topic to even talk about. Well, don't be horrofied by it, most of the people who gotten whacked in our younger days grew up to be pretty good people. We grew up not hating our parents for it but actually a little thankful for the lessons learned. Most of all, we grew up disiplined as well as respecting our parents and we grew up with funky stories like this to talk about and laugh. Of course, we weren't laughing then. Heh.

P.s: We got smarter in the end, we would hid the cane in places our mom could never find. Anyway this is just MY own opinion, obviously there will be people who would beg to differ. To each his own.

7 comments:

Sue said...

Yes, so agree with you. Now they abolished the canning stuff, too bad. And shouting to the kids does not have anything on them. Imagine 10 years later (or even after they graduated), who are to blame when they turned bad? -_-"

hevn said...

@Hey Sue,
kinda have to admit, was happy to see your comment! LOL

Yea! Shouting has no effect on kids anymore. But nowadays I see it's the kids screaming and not the parents. The parents just stand there looking at them not saying anything. *sigh*

We're not allowed to cane, slap or hit them. So what? Threaten to cut internet connection???

TJ Lubrano said...

Hellooo!! Oh my! Don't get me started! My parents, have to say my dad haha, used some kind of punishment with a stick or even belt when I or my sister were acting mischievous...which was a lot. I see a huge difference in manners in my household. Me and Ancilla are from the 'get whacked' generation. And Ilaya and Zepharis are from the 'shout generation'. Well getting whacked is waaay more effective whahahaha

Believe me threatening to cut off the internet connection...doesn't work -_-''...not at all!

Oh it would be so cool if we were neighbors hahaha...only getting squeezable sounds...ehm not so good hehehehe.

Ciaao bella!! *hugs*

Emilita said...

Hey, I appreciate your interesting perspective. I was wondering though, do you think caning sends a message to kids that physical force is an okay way to solve problems? Or is it clear that this kind of punishment is an adult/kid thing, not something that kids can inflict upon each other?

I'm from the US, and my parents really didn't use physical discipline as punishment when I was growing up -- maybe a few brisk slaps on the behind, lol, but nothing that left a lasting impression on my mind as an adult. (I was a very well-behaved child too.)

I was just thinking about when I was in kindergarten or first grade, how the teachers would emphasize to us that you solve problems with words, not by hitting. It seems like that message wouldn't have really worked had they been able to cane us. (Or could it have still worked? How did they teach you stuff like that?)

(Oh, and I totally agree that bratty children whining in public makes me so annoyed....grrr, some people need to control their kids better.)

hevn said...

@Gorgeous TJ
Whoa, was kinda surprise to learn that we asian kids weren't the only ones.

I guess not, that would encourage them to hang out in cyber cafes *sigh*

LMAO! It would be super cool, you're such a fun and positive person, luv ya! *squeeze*

*hugs* <3

@Emilita
Hey there, thanks for dropping by. Well, I must admit that when it comes to caning and whether it's acceptable or not is really debatable. For us who has gotten quite a bit of it tends to think it's okay but to those who never gotten any, would think it's barbaric. I guess.

I can't answer for everyone on this since how everyone thinks and feel is totally different so I'll just answer them base on myself.

But no, I don't think that caning sends a message that physical force is okay to solve problems. I've personally never (okay not never but once on self defense) used force on anyone. It didn't give me the impression at all until you brought it up actually. LOL 20 years and it never crossed my mind.

It's really an adult/kid things. I've never once dared to use the cane on my elder sister or my elder sister used it on me even when we fought. It was some kind of things that we as kids then never taught to use and something only our parents used.

We don't get brisk slaps on our behinds as a child or as an adult , heh. Wish we did since it sounds less painful. I wasn't always on my best behaviors thus the caning. My parents loved us to bits but were extremely strict on discipline.

It would have been great if our teachers taught the same over here, our teachers never used the cane on us as we were from an all girls school and caning is never done in all girls school or not that I knew off.

To some kids, words rather than physical force works better but there are some kids that sometimes physical force works better on them. Not everyone's the same. It's really important for teachers and parents to know which is which but unfortunately not everyone can differentiate that and the caning in schools has been abolished because of that reason.

When my time comes and become a parent, I have a feeling I'll be using both the solving with words problem and also the cane. Preferably the words method as Elyn uses but if the kid is uncontrollable, one whack would hopefully teach them.

Bear in mind that we don't get whacked for every mistake done, it's only when we do really huge mistakes and repeated mistakes do we get it and it's usually up till a certain age. :D

Hope that clear up some stuffs. Feel free to ask if you have anymore questions

Emilita said...

Thanks for your insightful reply. :) Oh, and I just noticed that you have Hello Kitty bedding too, lol.

TJ Lubrano said...

Yeah, it's more something from where my dad's from. He's from the Cape Verdian Islands (next to Africa) and there the use of punishments is quite common. And it's like you said, it's not for every single little thing, but if he got angry enough well we would know it hahaha. And it's indeed until a certain age and it's not that you mess up your kids either, this is common to think nowadays. But I think it has to do with the fact the values changed over time and this also changed the way kids are raised.

I think I will use both methods when I'm parent too. Just find a balance haha.

I really liked the way you wrote about it! Clear and honest!

Hahahha you already started squeezing ^_^ Ciaao Bella!! *big hugs* XOXO

DISCLAIMER

…THE VIEWS EXPRESSED BY THE AUTHORS ON THIS WEBSITE DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THIS WEBSITE, THOSE WHO LINK TO THIS WEBSITE, THE AUTHOR’S MOTHER, FATHER, SISTER, BROTHER, UNCLE, AUNT, GRANDPARENTS, COUSINS, STEP RELATIONS, ANY OTHER BLOOD RELATIVE AND THE AUTHOR HIMSELF, THIS WEBSITE’S WEB HOST…

COMMENTS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THEIR WRITERS AND THE WRITER WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY, LIABILITY, AND BLAME FOR ANY LIBEL OR LITIGATION THAT RESULTS FROM SOMETHING WRITTEN IN OR AS A DIRECT RESULT OF SOMETHING WRITTEN IN A COMMENT. THE ACCURACY, COMPLETENESS, VERACITY, HONESTY, EXACTITUDE, FACTUALITY AND POLITENESS OF COMMENTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED.

…ALTHOUGH IT MAY CLAIM OTHERWISE, THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT OFFER LEGAL, MEDICAL, PSYCHIATRIC, VETERINARY, GYNECOLOGICAL, ARCHAEOLOGICAL, ASTRONOMICAL, ASTROLOGICAL, ONTOLOGICAL, PALEONTOLOGICAL, PHILOSOPHICAL, AXIOLOGICAL, AUDIOLOGICAL, BACTERIOLOGICAL, MINERALOGICAL, CRIMINOLOGICAL, TERMINOLOGICAL, DERMATOLOGICAL, ECCLESIASTICAL, CAMPANOLOGICAL, PHRENOLOGICAL, PHONOLOGICAL, TECHNOLOGICAL, HEMATOLOGICAL, CAMPANOLOGICAL…

…THIS WEBSITE MAY INADVERTENTLY LINK TO CONTENT THAT IS OBSCENE, PRURIENT, USELESS, HATE-FILLED, POISONOUS, PORNOGRAPHIC, FRIVOLOUS, EMPTY, ROTTEN, BAD, DISGUSTING, HOSTILE, REPULSIVE, VIRULENT, INFECTIOUS…THIS WEBSITE IN NO WAY CONDONES, ENDORSES OR TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR SUCH CONTENT.

HERCHES BLOG DISCLAIMERS

ALTHOUGH THIS DISCLAIMER HAS BEEN COPIED FROM THE LINK ABOVE, I, 100% AGREES WITH IT AND THEREFORE WILL BE MY BLOGSPOT'S DISCLAIMER AS WELL. ALSO, REGARDING THE CONTENT VALIDITY, UNDERSTAND THAT A BLOG IS ALWAYS IN TRANSITION. THE INFORMATION PUBLISHED TODAY MIGHT NOT BE VALID OR ACCURATE ONE WEEK OR EVEN TEN YEARS FROM NOW. CONTENT, SOURCES AND LINKS CHANGE OVER TIME AS DOES MY OPINION. THANKS!

BLOG HERALD

TAKE HEED.