X reminds me of a friend I used to have in high school, every single day without fail over the ICQ or phone, he would call and complain about how he hated his life and how depressed he was and how the world was againts him and how the world was unfair and how he wanted to die.
And every single day I would always tell him to cheer up and gave him moral support. Which then prompt him to complain and more even more about how wrong I was and how he wanted to die.
So one fine day, when he went on to moan about his day and how he wanted to die, I finally said, 'okay, good luck.' which then prompt him to be accuse me of being a lousy friend and how i don't support him and how I wasn't suppose to ask him and to go die!
In many cases, I would never support a friend that way. As in to go and die, but I was fed up with his attention whore attitude and also i knew he would never do it. First, he was too much of a chicken, second, he think that it's 'cool' to keep complaining about how much he wanted to die because he's into Heavy Metal songs that promoted wrist cutting, death and self mutilation. Trust me when I say that he would never do the above, he just so badly wanted to make himself stand out by saying that he was all that.
I wonder if I should quote a newspaper artice I've read years ago about a case in Singapore when a guy wanted to die and told a bunch of his good friends. Being such good friends they respected their friend's decision to die and supported his all the way to the extend of scouting all over Singapore for the best place to commit suicide.
Since the Friend Test, I've somewhat 'revealed' personal information about myself that previously no one really knew for sure. Things like what I thought plushies are good for etc. One thing that is that I suffer from a mild form of depression. I'm sure everyone has gone thru some sort of depression period so how does one knows if they are suffering from depression or is merely just 'down'.
Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when sadness takes hold and won't go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary "blues," the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. A person with severe depression has little or no interest in work or hobbies, and may even have trouble getting out of bed. - HelpGuide
If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.
- you can’t sleep enough or you sleep too much
- you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
- you feel worthless and hopeless
- you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
- you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
- you are constantly irritated or become enraged even at small things – and this is new for you
- you have thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it (Seek help immediately if this is the case)
Example: "Oh wow, I'm sooooooo depressed that I didn't manage to get that pair of shoes"
Depression to some people is real and should never be treated so frivolously.
Truth is that I'm not proud to reveal this little fact about me. And it's something so personal that I doubt my own parents knows that I suffer from depression. I have never seeked help nor am I on any medication. My friends are the best medication there is. A healthy dose of friendship lifts me up little by little till I can get over the problem.
I don't complain excessively when I'm depressed. All the complains and words are all in my head and they hardly leave my mouth. I tell Elisa that I'm depressed but I can never/ hardly tell her the reason why I'm depressed or I'm too ashamed to reveal them.
There are times when I'm depressed for no apparent reasons or there are times when my thoughts of self-loathing takes over, and it's then when I find it hard to open up and tell Elisa why I'm depressed because it sounds so bloody silly that I'm depressed because I hated myself.
My sympthoms of depression is sleeping too much which is usually over 14 hours everyday. Lost of appetite, irritated at the slightest things, being overly sensitive and crying (I can cry for 4 hours NON-stop, I don't stop to hiccup but endless gushes of tears type) being extremely negative and cynical and thinking of ways to die and actually trying to as well as short term memory. Which is why some years are actually lost to me and when asked, I hardly or don't remember what I did or happend during that time.
Also, my depression usually lasts for months and can drag up to a year. Believe it or not, but when asked what I did during 2006-2007, I really don't remember.
I'm not sure how others would think of me once I post this 'article' of me up but we'll see. The reason I'm finally revealing this is because being a depressed person I do NOT like people coming to me to 'tell' me how depressed they are over the stupidiest things. I like positive people and I need it to keep my own spirits up high. I like to go out with people who laugh, joke and generally be happy rather than to sit down next to a depressed person telling you depressing things.
I try not to drag people down even when I'm depressed so I'm usually hiding at home or I never say anything. So these people complain and complain and complain and it really puts me in a foul mood. I mean, no one likes people who complain too much for God's sakes.
I'm fine with people who sometimes complain about their partners/ parents / work and is not trying to drag you down with them but because they need to let it out. On the other hand, there are some people who likes to drags you down with them. It's like, 'Hey, I'm depressed, you're depressed, lets start the Depressed People Club or something'. They knows you are already having a tough time and need some cheering up yet their still tells you depressing stuffs. ARGH!
So please, if you're a depressed person, you're more that welcome to join me and Elisa out for a good time filled with jokes and laughter but if you're a depressed person that needs another depressed person so you can be depressed together and who knows, commit suicide together, do NOT come near me or I'll beat the shit out of you!
During one of my recent bout of depression, I lost as much as 2kg during the first day. In the end, my weight plummet from 50kg to 44kg for someone standing at 165cm, I was a walking skeleton and during that time, I didn't not understand why my parents kept saying that I've lost weight. I never realized till the day Elisa took this picture and I couldn't believe my eyes. My shoulder bones were sticking out in the weirdest positions and I look so...thin and haggard. It was only after that did I try my best to gain back the weight I lost. I remained at 45-46kg for a little over a year before I started putting on weight again. Now all is fine.
And don't worry, depression is not contagious and I don't spread it around, don't fear me.